One sibling photo a week throughout the year. 32/52

i say yes under my breath, yes
i know this truth
yes, with eyes closed and a knowing nod
pain and purpose
ache and honesty
longing and love that remains near in every season
every season
even when it feels far


low times hang hard in the back of the throat
struggles and searching for reasons, relief
desperate days turning over every last stone
looking for promised peace
a way out
a light ahead
waiting ever so long
losing bits of hope
a trail of broken pieces i feel will never be gathered

i can hear nothing except a tiny voice
in the core of my heart
whispering, ‘don’t give up’
‘trust Me’
‘I have wonderful things in store for you’
‘keep walking’

i shake my head
surely not me
surely not wonderful things for me
how will i ever hold wonderful things
when i am so full of pain
what room is there for wonderful things?
rivers of sorrow, a force going out
others bewildered by my inability to smile
even a little bit
for years

i wrestle and struggle to set my face forward
to pick up weighted feet and soul
to journey on to where i will taste and see the Lord is good
not just hope and pray it is so
one tiny step after another
through darkness and fear
each one a step in faith as i hope in God
not yet seeing what is promised
but knowing that God does not lie


dear heart, it is true
God is good, so very good
and He is with you in the darkness
in hardship, in shame, in valleys, in waiting
in loss, in longing He walks with you
gathering the broken pieces
that will one day be restored to life
to fullness, wholeness
dancing and joy
by the remarkable power of His love
which cannot be kept from you
by any means in the universe

for nothing shall separate us from the love of God
nothing at all


“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

“If you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for He will never fail you.” 1 Peter 4:19 NLT

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you…In His kindness God called you to share in His eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, He, Himself, will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation.”  1 Peter 5:6-7, 10 NLT


Update on goals for week 32:

1) Run/walk at least 10 miles per week. Week 32 ~ 13.5 Run/Walk miles traveled, 361mi in 2015
2) Write 10,000 words weekly. Week 32 ~ 5100 words completed, 96,100 words in 2015


951. new-to-me maternity clothes, 952. the great bedroom clean-out, 953. seeing baby on ultrasound, 954. little spitfire’s haircut, 955. some rain and some sun, 956. first pre-season hawks game, 957. pizza with g & g mac, 958. my ultra-handy blue tooth speaker, 959. planning some timeline activities for fall, 960. moving message at church


February 11, 2015
Becoming the Woman I Never Wanted to Be
August 25, 2013
World Adoption Day
November 9, 2014