One sibling photo a week throughout the year. 17/52
The house is winding down and the kids get into their beds. In all physical ways, I am at the end of myself. Tired eyes and bones, and a strong desire to just throw everyone into bed as quickly as possible so I can clock out for the day and go numb my brain with something on a screen. Instead, a wind blows through me and I agree to sit and read to them while they settle themselves with blankets and loveys. It is an otherwise ordinary night, but I recognize that God has given me an extra measure of grace to handle bedtime with gentleness, instead of the grumpy exhaustion that often takes over. Spent, but not bankrupt. Weary, but not crushed. Somehow there is still more in the tank to give these little ones, like the supplier spotted me a wee bit of extra gusto to carry me over the threshold. Love digs deep and I’m learning how to do that in a gracious way without demanding a reward for it.
My son asks me questions about what I have read aloud, and somehow, answers are there. Answers that honor the mystery and also point to the truth. He’s always the one with the extra-deep questions. For years now, he has blessed me with his curiosity and desire to really understand the ideas that bounce around in his mind, and I try my best to journey with him, exploring and discovering as we go.
The same son takes a dip in the water to tell everyone around that he loves Jesus, pure and simple. I stand with him and squeeze his hand. I am always surprised by the turns of life, how his very presence in our family is not something I anticipated at the time, but I now cannot imagine life without his soft heart and goofy sense of humor. What a gift and a joy he is.
I long for him to find the life of peace and abundance. I pray for him to make choices purposefully, and with wisdom. I ask God to be near to him always, teaching him about who love is, what love does, and where love goes…to write it all so firm on his heart he can never escape it. I give thanks for the privilege it is to mother him in these years, seeing up close what the tender heart of a boy will become as he grows deeper and taller in the love of Jesus.
Update on goals for week 17:
1) Run/walk at least 10 miles per week. Week 17 ~ 12 Run/Walk miles traveled, 179mi in 2015
2) Write 10,000 words weekly. Week 17 ~ 100 words completed, 59,025 words in 2015
“For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed…so we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:5-9, 16-18 ESV
721. sweet boy, baptized, 722. beach day with 4 of ’em, 723. purging excess and rearranging, 724. celebratory brunch and the most amazing dutch baby, 725. jesus and all His upside-down thinking, 726. friends who journey with, 727. two books that I’m reading, 728. grace for myself in the midst of writing almost zero words last week, 729. safe, warm, and inviting home, 730. wiggle giggles