Sails

the ship i sail crashes the rocks

sharp water lashes

striking stones scrape

thunderous fear claps overhead

reverberations of brokenness

from lifetimes ago

 

revisiting aches, once put to rest

insides churn and boards buckle and

i wonder how long i will last

 

i am tender of heart and strong of will

 

i hold with white knuckles and pray nothings

and thrash

fearing not reality, but memory

 

i struggle to live now what is now

and leave then what was then

 

to let light touch my eyes

to make bright what i often forget

 

i am not the sailor, only the sail

stretched wide to catch wind

to catch breath

the promise that only surrender and trust

can bring up from the deep

peace

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“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:6-7

531. a rescuing husband, 532. new tire, 533. two year old negotiations, 534. six year old tooth-holes, 535. sweet party plans, 536. help, 537. miles journeyed on foot, 538. the smooth day before the bumpy one, 539. silent-night squeaks, 540. light-ups